Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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