I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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