Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
