Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
