Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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