the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
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I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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