it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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