Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
