My sheets look like a crime scene.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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