We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
my poor anus
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
