The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
