just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
