Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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