Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
