wrigley field is MILF paradise
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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