Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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