I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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