Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
