I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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