watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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