ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
