My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize