...so i touched it.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
