Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
