if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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