No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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