i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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