she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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