I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
