I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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