Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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