Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
