i barfeds in our rink
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
