i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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