you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
