I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize