but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
