I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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