Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
