According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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