so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Define "chronic" masturbator.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
