Its about making memories worth repressing
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
