Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
