Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
