Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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