Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
