I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
