What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
