We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
