The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
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