Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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