I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
