You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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