at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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