i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
