I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
