DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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