So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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