i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
